The Lanyard of Power

It’s amazing how creative the angler’s mind can get during the close season. It’s been over three months since I wet a line, and I’m beginning to feel it. Recent posts have probably hinted at my burgeoning desperation, as thoughts have turned to unnecessarily expensive fishing tackle and pathological levels of fly tying. Stuck into the fray has been Christmas, shocking weather and a move of flat. This is precisely the sort of crap that makes me need fly fishing.

Until the weather clears and the grayling come out to play, or the next three months go by and the new season comes around (it’s about 50/50 as to which will happen first) it’s the ‘thoughts’ thing. Recently, the most obsessive of these has been that of the ultimate gear-carrying system.

lanyard_trees.jpg

Up until the middle of last season I was a waistcoat man. I don’t mean any old waistcoat either, I’m talking seriously cheap, nasty and unfashionable. My brother and I wore almost identical apparel, the only difference being that my pockets contained three times as much rubbish. Given that the reverse is true of our outward mutterings I’d say that overall we were pretty even ๐Ÿ˜‰

Inside the waistcoat were six fly boxes, countless old fishing permits, a leader wallet, a rock from a special river and enough spools of leader material to encircle the earth three and a half times. On the outside hung nippers and forceps, with a landing net hung off a D-ring on the back. There are more excessive setups for sure, but I’m a bit of a tinkerer by nature and it was the turn of the waistcoat.

lanyard_fire.jpg

The replacement was a chest pack, one of those flashy looking William Joseph chaps. I used this for the last few fishing trips of the trout season, and it was pretty good. Enough space in the rear pocket for lunch, and not enough space in the front to carry too much useless tackle. Subtly my gear-carrying philosophy had begun to change. Less is more.

The latest phase has been developing over these last few dark, windy winter days. I say ‘developing’, because the Ultimate System is still in a beta-testing stage, but it’s looking promising. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… The Lanyard of Power!

lanyard.jpg

Yes, folks, it’s a lanyard. And yes, it’s going to be powerful. I’ve taken the liberty of photographing the very item, and here follows a brief description of the elements that give it The Power.

A – The Fly Box
B – The Forceps (on The Retractor of all Knowledge)
C – The Nail Knot Tool
D – The Nippers
E – The Floatant (in The Floatant Holder of Peace)
F – The Tippet Spools (featuring the revolutionary SHS – shoelace harness system)
G – The Shoelace (brown – important)
H – The Shirt (this isn’t actually part of the lanyard, but in this particular incarnation does provide a pleasingly fashionable backdrop, I’m sure you’ll agree)

So that’s TWO shoelaces involved. And you seriously questioned where The Power would come from?? The more observant amongst you may notice the devilishly cunning way I have used cheap monofilament to suspend the fly box. Total cost: about a quid. Truly, no expense has been spared.

What none of you will have realised is that the Lanyard of Power is perfectly balanced. The fly box sits precisely in the middle, in line with the tippet spools. Either side the various components have been carefully matched to provide optimum mass distribution. Truly, this is Power.

I think this is going to a really useful way of carrying fishing gear. For fishing the smaller rivers which I know well, it’s all that will be needed. For the bigger rivers, and for longer days, a small daypack with food, water and any other really essential tackle will be simple and more comfortable than any fishing waistcoat. Gradually, I’m cutting down. Less tackle, less crap, more fishing.

Simple But Good, you might say.

10 comments

  1. opax’s avatar

    The Lanyard of Power? The Retractor of all Knowledge? The Floatant Holder of Peace?

    Mike, seriously, I think that you have been playing Dungeons and Dragons far too much!

    Less seriously: I posses a genuine artifact: The Claw of Brown Bear. Iรขโ‚ฌโ„ขm not sure about all of its powers yet. Except the never ending hard-on, that is getting really painful now.

    Have you noticed Jays Lanyard post? If not, check it here.

  2. Trout Underground’s avatar

    Everyone knows that I own the Retractor of Knowledge, at least in the sense that I once embedded the business end of a pin in my thumb once.

    Now that’s knowledge.

    Speaking of which, where the heck do you keep the other Required Equipment like:

    Your digital camera (so you’ll have big fish pictures to taunt your friends with)?

    Your cell phone (so you can call and taunt less-fortunate friends directly from the river)

    Your footlong (about 1/3 of a meter for you metric fly fishers) “submarine sandwich” so you can taunt the other members of your party who didn’t bring any lunch?

  3. Flytimes’s avatar

    What no compass?

  4. The Mad Fishicist’s avatar

    not too late to add the measuring tape of destiny

  5. Alistair’s avatar

    Hey Tom,

    He has “people” to carry a camera and a cell phone ie me

    You will notice I probably have more pictures of Mike than he does…not that I moan about it at all.

    Alistair

  6. Mike’s avatar

    Thanks for the comments folks ๐Ÿ™‚

    Extras like a camera, well, I’m a minimalist now. I only carry string and toilet paper. Amazing what you can do with these.

    (in all seriousness, it’s going to go in one of these: http://www.deuterusa.com/speedlite10.html )

    Just wait folks, there are more powerful and amazing things to be discussed in relation to the Lanyard of Power. All in good time.

    As for Alistair my man, see the front page ๐Ÿ˜‰

  7. Mike’s avatar

    And thanks for the link Olli, I hadn’t seen that post, looks great. But definitely a little *too* smart for me. I’m into basic stuff ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Thomas Schreiber’s avatar

    The WJ link is “broke”, it should say http://www.williamjoseph.net/packs_and_vests.php an not http://www.williamjoseph.net/packs.php

    Regards,
    Thomas Schreiber
    mayfly.dk

  9. mike’s avatar

    Hi Thomas,

    thanks very much for pointing that out, much appreciated.

    Have a nice day,
    mike

  10. Fishing Gears discount codes’s avatar

    This article was very informative and helpful.
    Thank you for sharing.

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